Hallway Banter, vol. 58

Heard:


"Don't do yo' grandma like that!"


Without any of the specifics, I'm still inclined to agree.

Snow Days

We recently had two snow days, followed by a day of parent-teacher conferences--that is, no school for students. One of my students stopped by on conference day.


Me: "Hey Rayquan, how's it going? You enjoying the snow days?"

Rayquan: "Naw."

Me: "Hah, really? Why?"

Rayquan: "Doin' too much RELAXIN'!"


I did not know this was possible.

Quadruple Negative

It's been pretty cold this winter. This has sparked some debate about which was worse, this or last year.


Sierra: "It was negative 40 last year... and we had school!" [This, incidentally, is false.]

LaKira: "I ain't never been in no negative 40." [This is... true?]


I know double negatives are bad, but what's the rule on quadruple negatives? (Granted, the word "negative" is not in fact a negative in this sentence, but I'm going to go ahead and allow it, for style points.)

The Best Part of Waking Up

There's nothing like the sound of essay-test-silence, mingled with a crinkling bag, and the soft crunch of Hot Fries to start your day.

Ad Lib

The students work in groups, creating fictive dialogues involving characters from The Great Gatsby and The Crucible. I question one group's commitment to the note-taking aspect of the activity.

Me: "Are you guys writing this down?"

Alan Lackey: "No. We're going to ad lib. Because, as we all know: The greatest minds ad lib their greatest inventions. As such, Albert Einstein ad libbed the atomic bomb."

Me, internal: "WTF?"

Hate...Baby

Student, pregnant, to other student: "You know what, I'm not even going to hate you because my baby will come out looking like you."

H.A. Brownies

When my homeroom kids have birthdays, I make them cake. Unless there's a special request for, say, brownies.

Charles: "Mr. Vonn can I have brownies?"

Me: "Sure."

Charles: "Cool. They gotta be soft... we don't want no hard-ass brownies."

Raggedy Chargers

Student [Lawrence]: "Mr. Vonn, is your laptop charger plugged in?"

Me: "Yeah, it's just broken. See, it doesn't light up, but it still chargers." I demonstrate this.

Lawrence: "Man. Even the teachers got the raggedy chargers. That’s how you know a school’s broke."

He makes a point.

Ramen

Student 1: "You like those Roman noodles?"

Student 2: "They're called Ray-man noodles."

Snackage...Ting-Ting

"Yo Mr. Vonn you got any snackage in here because my stomach is seriously going ting-ting."

Tierra Ford is simply in another league when it comes to slang.